STARTING COUNSELLING

Starting counselling was one of the scariest things things I have ever done. I grew up thinking that talking about one’s struggles was a sign of weakness. I believed that if you let even the slightest bit of yourself show, things will go south. I didn’t trust anyone. I was 18 years old and away at College when I began  to realize that I needed help. I had lived a life of constant concealment that I almost forgot that I was human. It was scary trusting a stranger, but to this day I believe that going to counselling was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I had to get to a place where  I  truly allowed myself to be seen by someone. I had to open up and finally learn who I was as a  person. This has really helped me learn how to open up in all of my other relationships as well. Concealing is not a healthy coping mechanism and it is important for us to let ourselves be seen by those that care about us, including ourselves. Counselling has been very beneficial to my growth and my healing and I am happy I took the risk of allowing myself to be seen.

I deserve to be seen for who I am

I am loveable

I am beautiful inside and out.

Thank you for reading.Until next time

 

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BEAUTY FROM THE INSIDE OUT

I’m currently working on looking at my beauty in terms of my character, and not on how I look. I think for a long time I placed so much of my beauty on my looks and what I was wearing.Thinking like this doesn’t help me because I’ve realized that even when I thought I looked “beautiful”, I was still critical of myself and I still felt “ugly. So from today onward I have made the conscious decision to do something different. I say affirmations about other qualities of myself and tell myself that I am much more than the beauty standards that have been set for me by society. This has to be one of the biggest lessons that I am learning to date. I am learning that most people will look at your looks and define you by that, but there is much more to me than my looks and if someone fails to see this it has nothing to do with me. Finding beauty on the inside and really getting in touch with my soul is one of the best things that I have ever done for myself. Let’s do this together!

 

I am beautiful on the inside

I am learning

I am wonderful

 

Thank you for reading. Until next time.

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EMBRACE THE PROCESS OF GROWING

I have come to love the process of growing and the process of overcoming adversity. I read the book “Rising Strong” when I was going through a very difficult time and I continue to read it to this day whenever my resilience is being tested. The book really helps you “rise strong” from adversity. It teaches you that there is beauty in coming back from going through a difficult time. I also really like the title of the book because it shows that in rising, we come out of that particular situation stronger that we ever could have imagined. This book really helped me learn how to see my own strength because I tend to admire strength in other people, but not in myself. I have overcome a lot of things in my life and I will continue to overcome as I continue, but now I can look at myself in the mirror and look at those situations that have tested my resilience with pride. Now when I am going through a difficult time, instead of wallowing and feeling sorry for myself I read Brene Brown’s “rising strong and I am reminded of how strong I am and how strong we all truly are.

I am a conquerer

I am resilient

I am strong

Thank you for reading. Until next time.

 

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TELL YOUR OWN STORY

One of the reasons that I created this blog was because I wanted to tell my story on my terms. I didn’t want to be defined by other people and put myself in a box. I fell in the most public way possible and everyone had something to say about it and I am pretty sure some people still have something to say about it today. Everyone had different opinions about what caused my psychosis. I allowed these people to have opinions of what happened to me for a really long time. I was so ashamed of my disease that I kept allowing them to speak for me. I now want to create a place where I can open up about who I am as a person and some of the struggles I still face today instead of having other people speak for me. People will always have their opinions, but at the end of the day the opinions that matter the most in the whole world is your own. People will do and say a lot of things to try to tear you down. I have decided to give myself a voice and to allow myself to be heard on my own terms.

I deserve to be heard

I have a voice

I am loved

Thank you for reading. Until next time

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THE PROBLEM IS HOW I SPEAK TO MYSELF

I recently had some terrible criticism the other day and even though I knew that it wasn’t true, it stung deeply. I spend the whole day ruminating over the comment and thinking about it over and over again. It really hurt. After some reflection, I realized that the comment hurt yes, but I kept ruminating over it because of some of the things that I have told myself in the past. I used to say some pretty unkind things to myself and there are some days today where I have to tell myself not to speak to myself that way. So, sometimes when someone speaks to me in the way that I used to speak to myself, it is a trigger for me. It reinforces some of the old thoughts that I used to have about myself. I start believing that since I believed it before, it mus be true because the other person has said it. Not everything that we think is true, and just because someone loves you doesn’t mean that their criticism is always true.

I am healing

I am recovering

I am growing

Thank you for reading.Until next time

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COUNTING THE SMALL VICTORIES

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and while we were talking, she mentioned the importance of acknowledging the small victories. She said that people have a tendency of focusing on the big victories and the  big victories are the only ones we consider to be accomplishments. We tend to forget the small steps that are going to help us get to where we need to be.Getting up in the morning,taking a shower,brushing your teeth, and exercising are all examples of things that are small victories that can take you very far.This is such a new perspective for me because i’m learning to acknowledge even the tiniest steps that I take towards my health,recovery,and being the best version of myself. Even if other people don’t always see these things as victories,they are victories to me and that is the most important thing. She also mentioned that it is important to celebrate how far you have come because that is where the growth lies. So thank you girl, I learned  new perspective.

I am learning

I am growing

I am exploring

Thank you for reading. Until next time.

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DON’T FORGET TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

It is very hard to take care of yourself in this go go go society that we live in. Everyone is much more focused on getting things done than making sure they have taken the time to take care of themselves. I used to be this way two until a year and a half ago. I neglected myself to the point where I finally cracked and experienced an episode of psychosis. I believed that everything needed to get done right away and that I could sleep and rest when those things got done. I lost sight of who I was and the world that we currently live in was no longer my reality. The episode of psychosis was my wake up call. I took time off of school and decided to spend time learning how to truly take care of myself. I developed ways that I learned how to cope with life in a while different way. I tossed away my philosophies and decided to adopt new ones. I learned that sleep was an important aspect of my day to day life. I also learned that I can’t do it all. There were some things that had to give up- late nights for example. Now that I am recovered and back in school, self-care is still a bit of a struggle for me. I am so used to being on the run that I sometimes forget that I need to take time to take care of myself because I matter too. I now have a schedule where I have to schedule in myself care so that I can actually take care of myself throughout the day. What are some of the struggles you face with taking care of yourself?

I matter

I love taking care of myself

I am growing each and everyday

Thank you for reading.Until next time

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