STARTING COUNSELLING

Starting counselling was one of the scariest things things I have ever done. I grew up thinking that talking about one’s struggles was a sign of weakness. I believed that if you let even the slightest bit of yourself show, things will go south. I didn’t trust anyone. I was 18 years old and away at College when I began  to realize that I needed help. I had lived a life of constant concealment that I almost forgot that I was human. It was scary trusting a stranger, but to this day I believe that going to counselling was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I had to get to a place where  I  truly allowed myself to be seen by someone. I had to open up and finally learn who I was as a  person. This has really helped me learn how to open up in all of my other relationships as well. Concealing is not a healthy coping mechanism and it is important for us to let ourselves be seen by those that care about us, including ourselves. Counselling has been very beneficial to my growth and my healing and I am happy I took the risk of allowing myself to be seen.

I deserve to be seen for who I am

I am loveable

I am beautiful inside and out.

Thank you for reading.Until next time

 

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BEAUTY FROM THE INSIDE OUT

I’m currently working on looking at my beauty in terms of my character, and not on how I look. I think for a long time I placed so much of my beauty on my looks and what I was wearing.Thinking like this doesn’t help me because I’ve realized that even when I thought I looked “beautiful”, I was still critical of myself and I still felt “ugly. So from today onward I have made the conscious decision to do something different. I say affirmations about other qualities of myself and tell myself that I am much more than the beauty standards that have been set for me by society. This has to be one of the biggest lessons that I am learning to date. I am learning that most people will look at your looks and define you by that, but there is much more to me than my looks and if someone fails to see this it has nothing to do with me. Finding beauty on the inside and really getting in touch with my soul is one of the best things that I have ever done for myself. Let’s do this together!

 

I am beautiful on the inside

I am learning

I am wonderful

 

Thank you for reading. Until next time.

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TELL YOUR OWN STORY

One of the reasons that I created this blog was because I wanted to tell my story on my terms. I didn’t want to be defined by other people and put myself in a box. I fell in the most public way possible and everyone had something to say about it and I am pretty sure some people still have something to say about it today. Everyone had different opinions about what caused my psychosis. I allowed these people to have opinions of what happened to me for a really long time. I was so ashamed of my disease that I kept allowing them to speak for me. I now want to create a place where I can open up about who I am as a person and some of the struggles I still face today instead of having other people speak for me. People will always have their opinions, but at the end of the day the opinions that matter the most in the whole world is your own. People will do and say a lot of things to try to tear you down. I have decided to give myself a voice and to allow myself to be heard on my own terms.

I deserve to be heard

I have a voice

I am loved

Thank you for reading. Until next time

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UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF

The most important person that you need understanding from is and always will be yourself. It is easy to look outward and want understanding from other people. I am trying to challenge this thought process of always looking to other people to understand me. Sometimes I feel like no one understands me. During times when I feel like this, I try not to suffer and I do something very different. I look to myself for the understanding that I wish I had from those around me. I dig deep into my heart and soul and figure out what I need at that particular time. Sometimes I need a love poem from myself, other times it is a nice treat or whatever else I feel like doing at that particular time. Turning inwards is my solution when I feel misunderstood because understanding ourselves is the most important thing we could ever do.

I am understanding myself

I deserve to understand myself

I love myself unconditionally

Thank you for reading.Until next time.

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THE PROBLEM IS HOW I SPEAK TO MYSELF

I recently had some terrible criticism the other day and even though I knew that it wasn’t true, it stung deeply. I spend the whole day ruminating over the comment and thinking about it over and over again. It really hurt. After some reflection, I realized that the comment hurt yes, but I kept ruminating over it because of some of the things that I have told myself in the past. I used to say some pretty unkind things to myself and there are some days today where I have to tell myself not to speak to myself that way. So, sometimes when someone speaks to me in the way that I used to speak to myself, it is a trigger for me. It reinforces some of the old thoughts that I used to have about myself. I start believing that since I believed it before, it mus be true because the other person has said it. Not everything that we think is true, and just because someone loves you doesn’t mean that their criticism is always true.

I am healing

I am recovering

I am growing

Thank you for reading.Until next time

Image from: http://www.compassionswaycounseling.com

DON’T FORGET TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

It is very hard to take care of yourself in this go go go society that we live in. Everyone is much more focused on getting things done than making sure they have taken the time to take care of themselves. I used to be this way two until a year and a half ago. I neglected myself to the point where I finally cracked and experienced an episode of psychosis. I believed that everything needed to get done right away and that I could sleep and rest when those things got done. I lost sight of who I was and the world that we currently live in was no longer my reality. The episode of psychosis was my wake up call. I took time off of school and decided to spend time learning how to truly take care of myself. I developed ways that I learned how to cope with life in a while different way. I tossed away my philosophies and decided to adopt new ones. I learned that sleep was an important aspect of my day to day life. I also learned that I can’t do it all. There were some things that had to give up- late nights for example. Now that I am recovered and back in school, self-care is still a bit of a struggle for me. I am so used to being on the run that I sometimes forget that I need to take time to take care of myself because I matter too. I now have a schedule where I have to schedule in myself care so that I can actually take care of myself throughout the day. What are some of the struggles you face with taking care of yourself?

I matter

I love taking care of myself

I am growing each and everyday

Thank you for reading.Until next time

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HEALING

I have said this before to my friends and family, but it is finally time to start healing and letting go. This is the year where I will continue on the lifelong journey of forgiving those that have hurt me and forgiving myself for the hurt that I have inflicted on others. It is time for me to move with my life and finally become the person that I am supposed to be. Forgiveness is essential to growth and I cannot continue to grow if I do not learn to forgive others. I have to become the best version of myself and this will begin when I learn how to love other unconditionally without any hatred in my soul. It is time for  me to let go so that I can finally become the best version of myself. I have to move on and allow myself to heal. This is going to be the hardest thing for me to achieve. I recognize that by forgiving others and myself, I will be doing what has been asked of me as a human being. I will also be taking care of myself and learning to move on with my life. It is time for me to be the best person that I can be. It is time for me to move on and let go. It is time for me to finally allow myself to have the peace of mind that I deserve.

I am learning

I am growing

I am healing

Thank you for reading. Until next time

Image from :http://www.nasrq.com/SARA/December-2015/Healing-the-Soul-from-Past-Life-Trauma/