STARTING COUNSELLING

Starting counselling was one of the scariest things things I have ever done. I grew up thinking that talking about one’s struggles was a sign of weakness. I believed that if you let even the slightest bit of yourself show, things will go south. I didn’t trust anyone. I was 18 years old and away at College when I began  to realize that I needed help. I had lived a life of constant concealment that I almost forgot that I was human. It was scary trusting a stranger, but to this day I believe that going to counselling was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I had to get to a place where  I  truly allowed myself to be seen by someone. I had to open up and finally learn who I was as a  person. This has really helped me learn how to open up in all of my other relationships as well. Concealing is not a healthy coping mechanism and it is important for us to let ourselves be seen by those that care about us, including ourselves. Counselling has been very beneficial to my growth and my healing and I am happy I took the risk of allowing myself to be seen.

I deserve to be seen for who I am

I am loveable

I am beautiful inside and out.

Thank you for reading.Until next time

 

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BEAUTY FROM THE INSIDE OUT

I’m currently working on looking at my beauty in terms of my character, and not on how I look. I think for a long time I placed so much of my beauty on my looks and what I was wearing.Thinking like this doesn’t help me because I’ve realized that even when I thought I looked “beautiful”, I was still critical of myself and I still felt “ugly. So from today onward I have made the conscious decision to do something different. I say affirmations about other qualities of myself and tell myself that I am much more than the beauty standards that have been set for me by society. This has to be one of the biggest lessons that I am learning to date. I am learning that most people will look at your looks and define you by that, but there is much more to me than my looks and if someone fails to see this it has nothing to do with me. Finding beauty on the inside and really getting in touch with my soul is one of the best things that I have ever done for myself. Let’s do this together!

 

I am beautiful on the inside

I am learning

I am wonderful

 

Thank you for reading. Until next time.

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TELL YOUR OWN STORY

One of the reasons that I created this blog was because I wanted to tell my story on my terms. I didn’t want to be defined by other people and put myself in a box. I fell in the most public way possible and everyone had something to say about it and I am pretty sure some people still have something to say about it today. Everyone had different opinions about what caused my psychosis. I allowed these people to have opinions of what happened to me for a really long time. I was so ashamed of my disease that I kept allowing them to speak for me. I now want to create a place where I can open up about who I am as a person and some of the struggles I still face today instead of having other people speak for me. People will always have their opinions, but at the end of the day the opinions that matter the most in the whole world is your own. People will do and say a lot of things to try to tear you down. I have decided to give myself a voice and to allow myself to be heard on my own terms.

I deserve to be heard

I have a voice

I am loved

Thank you for reading. Until next time

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COUNTING THE SMALL VICTORIES

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and while we were talking, she mentioned the importance of acknowledging the small victories. She said that people have a tendency of focusing on the big victories and the  big victories are the only ones we consider to be accomplishments. We tend to forget the small steps that are going to help us get to where we need to be.Getting up in the morning,taking a shower,brushing your teeth, and exercising are all examples of things that are small victories that can take you very far.This is such a new perspective for me because i’m learning to acknowledge even the tiniest steps that I take towards my health,recovery,and being the best version of myself. Even if other people don’t always see these things as victories,they are victories to me and that is the most important thing. She also mentioned that it is important to celebrate how far you have come because that is where the growth lies. So thank you girl, I learned  new perspective.

I am learning

I am growing

I am exploring

Thank you for reading. Until next time.

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HEALING

I have said this before to my friends and family, but it is finally time to start healing and letting go. This is the year where I will continue on the lifelong journey of forgiving those that have hurt me and forgiving myself for the hurt that I have inflicted on others. It is time for me to move with my life and finally become the person that I am supposed to be. Forgiveness is essential to growth and I cannot continue to grow if I do not learn to forgive others. I have to become the best version of myself and this will begin when I learn how to love other unconditionally without any hatred in my soul. It is time for  me to let go so that I can finally become the best version of myself. I have to move on and allow myself to heal. This is going to be the hardest thing for me to achieve. I recognize that by forgiving others and myself, I will be doing what has been asked of me as a human being. I will also be taking care of myself and learning to move on with my life. It is time for me to be the best person that I can be. It is time for me to move on and let go. It is time for me to finally allow myself to have the peace of mind that I deserve.

I am learning

I am growing

I am healing

Thank you for reading. Until next time

Image from :http://www.nasrq.com/SARA/December-2015/Healing-the-Soul-from-Past-Life-Trauma/

LOVE YOURSELF

I never used to understand why I always heard people say that love starts with self  because for many years I never had a good relationship with myself. I always thought that someone would enter my life and show me what love meant. This thinking stopped when I learned about self love.Self love is one of the hardest and most challenging things I have had to conquer. I had to get to a place where I realized that I was worth the hard work. I had to learn that I was worth being kind to myself and was quite deserving of it. I started by changing the way that I spoke to myself. I realized that I deserved to be spoken to the same way I speak to other people. I speak to other people with kindness and respect, so why shouldn’t I speak to myself in the exact same way? I am as much of a person as everyone else and I truly deserve to treat myself with love and respect. I stopped calling myself stupid,dumb,etc and starting focusing on my positive qualities. This is much easier said than done, don’t get me wrong for as the saying goes “old habits die hard”. It took a lot of time to stop speaking to myself this way and to be honest, I still struggle with it some days. I have days where I have to tell myself “please don’t speak to me like that” because I know that i don’t deserve to be spoken to with disrespect, especially from myself because I live in me and if I don’t have a healthy relationship with myself, how can I have a healthy relationship with other people. Everyday I make the commitment to love and truly honor who I am as a person.

I am in love with myself

I value myself

I am learning about myself each and everyday

Thank you for reading.Until next time.

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